What Parents Need to Know About Preventing Youth Alcohol and Drug Use
Talking With Your Child About Tough Issues
|
Difficult subjects such as drug and alcohol use are hard to bring up, and kids
often do their best to avoid talking about them. They may feel that the adult
is lecturing them and may use their energy protecting themselves or their friends.
As a result, youth often have difficulty listening or responding appropriately. |
The following six-step process allows adults to communicate care and support
and to be specific about issues that concern them.
| I Care | Let the young person know that s/he is important to you and to others. |
| I See | Focus on specific behaviors or issues. What did you see or hear that caused you
concern? Focus on the behavior rather than the person. |
| I Feel | Let him or her know how you feel about your concern. For example, "I feel worried." |
| Pause and Listen | Be prepared for silence, denials, anger, a sad or tragic story, or an emotional
outpouring. Just listen without responding at this point. |
| I Want | Once you have heard the child's perspective, let him or her know what you would
like to have happen. |
I Will
| Then, let the child know what you are prepared to do to support him or her. |
Helpful Hints
1. Consider the time and place. It is best to talk with a young person away from others.
2. Rehearse. This kind of dialogue is often uncomfortable for both parties. Practicing what
you plan to say will help you maintain control. Also, anticipate the possible
responses or questions that you may receive.
3. Leave the door open. This may be your time to talk, but not the young person's. Let the youth know
you would be willing to talk some other time. REMEMBER: you are responsible for
the process, not the outcome. Parents can share their concern and offer to help.
However, the young person is ultimately responsible for his or her choices.
4. Know your limits. Be prepared with resources. Recognize when it may be appropriate to seek professional
help.
